Worms and Snakes.

My legs haven't felt this dead for a long time; however, the ascent to the summit of Fansipan was worth all the pain. It's the tallest mountain in Vietnam at 3200m, set high above the nearest town, Sapa, in what can be described as a forest/jungle setting. I always know the different stages of thought during any trek - firstly excitement, which is followed by questioning of my sanity, accomplishment, pondering what’s for dinner, and then relief - and I certainly felt them all during the wet and slippy climb to the summit.

My guide seemed to lack any basic safety knowledge and happily just encouraged me not to slip on steep flat rocks requiring ropes to scramble up; I thought this wasn't the best time to tell him I wasn't the biggest fan of heights. Still, the further we ascended the rainier it got, but all the more silence something reserved for too few places on earth.

Still, the mist covered mountains didn't stop some classic moments for my guide;

Corey: "What exactly is that?"
Guide: "Big worm, let's throw rocks at it!"
Corey: "If I must..."

Or

Corey: "Is that, erm, snake poisonous?"
Guide: "Yes, cobra, very dangerous"

He proceeded to kill the snake, and thought it would make a good source of meat for a 'barbecue' in the evening. Wonderful. Just fucking wonderful.

Other highlights have included:
- Proposals of marriage to local tribeswoman daughter.
- Being made out to be a neo-Nazi. Long story.
- Visiting the DMZ, and trying to be amazed by the 'maternity ward' in the Vinh Moc tunnels. It looks the same as every other room.
- Visiting the DMZ bridge. OOOO A BRIDGE.
- Cycling to a Pagoda. Leaving two minutes later.
- Realising that My Son temples were under 'reconstruction'. Yes, these historic momuments (at least the ones the USA didn't bomb) need a new lick of paint.

Lastly. The scam. My good-hearted nature was exposed, as I was casually playing football on the beach with some Vietnamese people - who asked me to sit with them while they ate lunch. I wasn't hungry and just had water while they shared some squid, which I gave into and shared. Then, suddenly the bill appears and it turns out I’m expected to pay - quickly thinking I asked for the bill in English and followed her to the 'toilet'; which then resulted in me having to walk the three kilometres back to town in the searing heat. Great.

The train back to Hanoi made me realise that the Vietnamese are infinitely cleaner than the Chinese. Last time I was on a Chinese train, the toilet in the morning was stinking in piss and shit and you daren't even stay for longer than a minute for fear of suffocating. Visiting the toilet in the morning on the Vietnamese train - everything was spotless. There was even toilet roll.